Sunday, March 21, 2010

How Are You Feeling?

If I had a dime for every time I have been asked that question the past few weeks, I'd be a rich woman! The problem is, I don't have a consistent answer. I feel really good physically and emotionally one minute, and not so good the next! I think it is fair to say that I assumed I would suffer side effects for a few days after a treatment and then gradually feel better with time until the next treatment. This doesn't really seem to be the case for me. I am tired beyond belief, but I don't sleep very well. I was completely whipped after vacuuming our lower level today. It took me about 15 minutes to catch my breath after doing a 5 minute job. What's with that? In addition, my emotions are pretty much out of control. I cry a lot and most of it is for no reason at all. Once I start crying, it takes a long time for the tears to stop.

I hesitate to post this because I don't want you to think that I feel sick, tired, and unhappy every minute of every day. That is certainly not the case. I enjoyed shopping with Keagan yesterday. I drove the van for Kid's Club. The Briarwood kids made me smile when they started singing VBS songs from last summer. The NCAA tournament has gotten a lot of our attention this weekend. (Go Spartans!) We were reminded at church this morning that we have a God who is full of grace! I hope you have enjoyed your weekend!



  1. Hi Robin,
    Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are in a rough place right now, but it is encouraging to see you leaning on God for support. He loves you and your family and your trust in Him is shining brightly. Keep giving Him your worries and let Him handle all of the emotions that are flooding through. I hope you sleep well tonight.

    Love, Krystle

  2. Dear Robin,

    Being honest about all of the things you are feeling is a very brave thing for you to do. It just shows how very much you are putting your faith in God to help you through everything. :) May you feel his arms around you tonight as you sleep and wake tomorrow morning feeling renewed and ready to face another week.

    Corla :)

  3. Hi cuz, I'm glad you are able to write and express how things are going-good, bad and otherwise-I don't think I could do that. It makes me feel like I am talking with you and for that I thank you for writing!
    Take care.
    I love you.
    I pray for a good nights sleep for you.
    One moment at a time.

  4. Dear Robin,

    Letting us know how you're feeling helps us know what to pray for and hopefully helps you release some of your emotions. Remember all things are possible with God (Luke 18:27). When vacuuming (or anything else) tires you out, ask Randy, the girls or even me to do it for you! Better yet, I'll send John over - it would give him something to do and help you out at the same time. Just take it one day at a time and keep "fighting like a girl"!

    Love ya,

  5. Thanks for sharing because I'm trying not to ask. See you later! Love, Laurie

  6. Stay Strong! Love You - Diana

  7. So I was subbing at Dawson today and I'm pretty sure that I caught your husband off guard when I asked about you. I just want you to know how much of an impact you've had on me and my life! You are a strong and amazing woman and you are my inspiration!

  8. Hey, Robin...I'm so sorry to hear about your tears. I haven't had that "side effect", but I do share your extreme fatigue and insomnia, and hate it. I want to do normal things again without feeling like such a weenie. Have you asked Doctor Amy about your crying? She may be able to prescribe xanax or something else to help calm you. I think we also need to be able to give ourselves "permission" to weep or be tired or bored for these next weeks...especially the days immediately following our chemo. Those days are when we're at our lowest threshold and are most vulnerable to infection and mood swings. So hang in there, dear friend, and know that there's an end in sight. Call me anytime you want to talk. Marcia

  9. Dear Robin,
    Whatever you are feeling is A-okay. Thanks for sharing how you are doing. We think you are awesome!
    Love, Mike, Amy and Ava